Matthew Lush (@MatthewLush) Suggests Gays Commit Suicide

Matthew Lush, ‘An Internet celebrity who is also known as “gay god” (Urban Dictionary),’ in his most recent YouTube video titled Gay Talk UNCENSORED (at 4:46) was asked if he found himself married in a couple years. Matthew Lush goes on to reply that while he would like to be married by 25. Lush goes on to say, “I don’t want to be like 30 and alone because that would be really sad and I would just want to kill myself.Matthew Lush, I am 30 and alone… should I kill myself?

Start video at 4 minutes 47 seconds.

I grew up in a very Christian household, and thus felt I couldn’t be my true self when I was living there, and even after moving out. I was deathly afraid that if I went a gay bar someone might recognize me and it get back to my family and friends. I created a fake name when trying to meet guys locally. I even would drive over 100 miles each way from the Tampa Bay area to Orlando, Florida to go to gay clubs because I was afraid. Afraid of coming out, afraid of who I was, afraid that it was a sin and I would spend eternity in hell.

Nick Starr suicide

Because of my upbringing and fears, I wasn’t able to come out until after I packed up and moved into my car and moved all the way to San Francisco. I still didn’t even feel comfortable coming out until after living here 7 months. Finally May 19, 2008, when I was 27 (and a half) years old, I finally felt free enough to come out to not just myself, but family, friends, followers, anyone and everyone.

Because of this, I had a late start in terms of dating. I wasn’t married by 25 as Matthew Lush wishes he was, and find myself a 30 year old gay man living in one of the gayest cities in the world, San Francisco, and I’m not only single, but also have never even had a second date. I also have a vast history of depression, and suicidal ideations and even attempts. Hell someone even wrote a paper on my mental breakdowns as part of their doctorate. So, Matthew Lush, how is advocating a gay man at age 30 who is unmarried / partnered / single to kill himself in any way beneficial?

Matthew Lush is an advocate of gay suicide. He himself said that he would kill himself. So, Matthew Lush, would you like to drive me to the Golden Gate Bridge so that I can kill myself? I’m sure someone will return the favor on your 30th birthday if you are single.


(Images courtesy of Feast of Fun and BeforeiForget respectively)


3 thoughts on “Matthew Lush (@MatthewLush) Suggests Gays Commit Suicide

  1. Please don’t take Matthew Lush’s words to heart. I understand why this would upset you (I do understand), but you can’t let the self-proclaimed “Gay God” get you all riled up. From what I take it, Matthew Lush was only stating that if, he, at 30 was single and un-wed, then he would want to kill himself. I see how it can be contrued as an advocate of gay suicide, but really it was his attempt to be playful and funny. And on the other hand, gay suicide should not be taken lightly. Though I will never truly know how it is to be 30 living in the city until 9 years from now, I know how it is. I was raised in a filipino catholic family that moved to san diego from the bay area when I was 4. In this part of SD, the population is predominantly white christian families jammed packed with homophobia, racism, and plain ignorance. Of course I was bullied and teased. And yeah, there were times where suicide was an option (so I thought). Maybe I did come out at an early age, but being out wasn’t much better than being in the closet. But what I came to realize is that the sooner I “don’t give a fuck” what they thought of me, the sooner I could REALLY not give a fuck what they thought.
    However this newfound self-accepted would only be shot down by the gay bullying in the gay community as well. I’m an overweight asian loser in a scene full of blonde hair blue eyed twinks. But then I remember where I came from. I remember all the shit I had went through, all the hurt I have ever felt or been made to feel. I won’t let little self-proclamating twinks bring me down because I know I have a story to tell. Our stories may not be filled with ponies and rainbows, but they make us who we are and we can only grow from there. Like rupaul says in every episode of drag race. “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love somebody else”
    Sorry to type this long-ass letter to ya, but it really got to me. Hope all goes well for you. =]

  2. Thanks for the link back Nick. Always good to credit where you got the pics from 😉

    Though I should say that the pic was actually taken by some guy from Pittsburg, not myself. I give his name in my blog post but can’t remember it right now.

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