This is me…

This has got to be one of the most thought out posts I have ever written. I never thought I would be writing this, but here it is…. When I moved to California, I had several agendas for leaving everything and everyone I ever knew. I wanted to be around the tech sector and all of the great people who are involved in the community out here. I enjoy going to all of the great Web 2.0 parties in the area, and I have made some great friends since being here.

I also wanted to find a job where I could feel free to express myself that would be an extension of all of my passions. I took the first job I was offered after moving and was very happy there, but I didn’t like that it was located 25 miles away from the city I drove 3,000 miles to be close to, and that I was living even further outside of San Francisco. I didn’t feel free to come and go as I wanted. Three weeks ago I gave my notice at my previous job providing 3 weeks of lead time for them to find someone to hire, and I could train my replacement before I left.

At the same time, I have accepted a job offer in a field which some may or may not understand. I mentioned earlier, I wanted a job that completely encapsulated what I care about, what I enjoy doing, and who I am. The job is essentially the same as the last company I was with, in that I am managing multiple servers, websites, newsletters, and all of the IT backend. I will also be handling AV aspects of the company, including video streaming, etc. This is a great opportunity to branch out my knowledge and passion for video which I has laid dormant since my high school days.

I really feel that my love of visual media, and love of technology management make this a great move in companies, but there is one other factor which plays into my choice in working for this company. The company is very involved in promoting the messages of safe and consensual sex between men. This is something I harp on daily on other sites where I write. I think the prevention of spreading sexually transmitted diseases is a message that needs to be expressed in the gay/bi/lesbian/straight community. This company provides a safe and secure location, as well as protection for everyone who visit their locations.

They also provide weekly testing and even someone who comes in and will sit down one-on-one to offer advice or someone to just talk to about your concerns. The company works closely with Public Health Departments, Community Based Organizations, county and state HIV/STD officials, the CDC (in U.S.), the research community (UCSF, UIC, CAPS) and many others – to create collaborative relationships which support and expand HIV and STD awareness and testing programs while also maintaining outreach initiatives that are effective, user friendly, and creatively inspired.

This is who I am as a person, and I don’t want to lie or be ashamed about that. Many people have asked me about this in the past, and until now I have been less then upfront and honest, mostly because I was afraid of what others might think. I now honestly don’t care. I have always tried to be a very open person about my life, and don’t know many people who openly admit to living in their car for over a year or any of the other crazy things I have done. I feel that in the spirit of being open and honest that I would like to express that I am gay. While I have never had a relationship with a guy, I feel as if I would be ready to if that opportunity presented itself. I don’t feel as if a person’s sexuality should stop you from caring about someone for who they are.

The company you work for should be an expression of your own passions, and I feel as if I have found one that has truly allowed me use my talents while at the same time not having to hide who I am. I understand that this news might shock some people, and others not so much. I have not said any of this sooner, because up until now I have felt too scared to. Even as I write this I am trembling. Due to the nature of who I am, and based on past experiences, I do not wish to disclose the name of the company which I will be working for, and hope that you can respect this. The company is very reputable and has offices in the US and Canada, which will allow for some travel with the job as well; something I am looking forward to greatly. I will be working in the heart of San Francisco’s Castro district and have found a place to live within walking distance of my new job.

That being said, I appreciate the support of those who have found out this information through various means, you have helped me more then you could know. This is something which is very difficult to do, and I am glad to have such great friends to help me through this time. I look forward to your comments and feel free to drop me a line anytime.

Thanks for listening,

Nick Starr

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46 thoughts on “This is me…

  1. Hey Nick!

    Congratulations on finding a job that you’re passionate about, and that will inspire you to want to do good things for them. Sometime soon, I’ll buy you a celebratory beer.

    Clay

  2. I’m just another Twitter buddy, but wanted to say well done! Too many people find themselves not taking action to be happy, so it’s really good to see you making a change for the better. You should feel very proud of yourself.

  3. You are still Nick Starr and from what I have heard and seen Nick Starr is a good person. No looking back, move ever forward.

  4. Good for you!! (looks like I guessed right about your announcement) I don’t even know you in person but I’m really proud of you. You’re in the most awesome city in the world & doing a brilliant job – I can understand how nerve-wracking it must be to open up about this to the whole Internet (LOL) but well done you. I hope you find love & happiness soon (girl or guy, it really doesn’t matter as long as you’re HAPPY!)

    πŸ˜€ so happy for you already

    Take care – love from across the Pond!
    Leanne

  5. You made me smile this morning with your post.
    I’m envious of the control you’ve taken of your life, we should all live so true to ourselves.
    Thank you for sharing.

  6. Congrats on the new job! I am glad to hear that you found something that fits better with your life. Awesome post, it must have been hard to write, but I can say that nothing you wrote would change my opinion, would still consider you a friend.

  7. Ok but seriously. When you and I had a beer on Saturday night, you seemed a little nervous about things but said this would totally surprise everyone. Honestly, I’m not going to say that I’m “not surprised” but i don’t think it’s such a big deal.

    People don’t need to just be “tolerant” of gays, i just think that everyone can make their own choices and there’s nothing wrong with their choices as long as they’re happy. I’m glad you’ve come out but it doesn’t change our friendship. If you ever need anything, you know my number.

    You rock buddy!

  8. cheers…to figuring out what you want and pursuing it, and to being brave enough to share your struggles with others.

  9. I came across you on one of my friend’s twitter pages. I wish you only the very best in your future endeavors. You remind me so much of high school and college friends who felt that living in little southern towns didn’t allow them the freedom to express their true selves. Many of them had to move to metropolitan areas (one even as far as England) to be able to live their lives without fear of persecution. I hope you find what you are looking for in San Francisco.

  10. I don’t really know you well – we follow each other on Twitter…at least I think you follow me too. πŸ™‚

    Anyway, good for you, Nick. It takes a lot to be honest and true to yourself. Few people manage to do either and you’ve done both. Best of luck in your new job and in your new life.

  11. :LOL Nick, be who you are, live you dreams, grow into the person you envision yourself to be. Good luck! Peace. :

  12. Kudos to you. I think it’s awesome that you get to do something that helps people and I’m glad that you decided to make your life less complicated. Does that make sense?

    -Twitter follower/tmomaslomez
    πŸ˜›

  13. Nick:

    I’ve followed your alter-ego on Twitter these last few months and watched as you grew more comfortable and happy in your life. You are brave and honest and real. I have great respect for the amount of courage this took, congrats to you!

    Justin

  14. Congratulations! I wish you well in you endeavor and will follow along with your success and failures (such is life!)

  15. I have been a twitter follower for a while, Congrats on being open and honest and know that even those who follow and don’t interact as much are here to listen when you have stuff to say.

  16. Nick…doesn’t change a thing for me. You’re still the same crazy, living out of his car, letting it all hang out kinda guy that I have liked since day one. πŸ™‚

    Who you love doesn’t matter a damn bit. THAT you love, does! Keep searching, keep trying. Keep on doing what makes you happy and what helps you realize your dreams.

    And don’t be afraid of the EPIC FAIL, because it happens to all of us.

  17. Sorry I wasn’t able to respond earlier. Sprint PCS wasn’t working so well in San Juan.

    Anyways, as long as you are true to yourself; good things will follow.

    I see many good things in your future.

    Congrats on the new job. I hope it’s as fulfilling for you as it sounds.

  18. Hey Nick…we don’t know each other per se but I’ve followed you on Twitter for a while and you me. I just wanted to say:

    1. You look fabulous. Seriously! Congrats on your weight loss. I’ve been on the same journey myself for a few months now and though it’s hard, it’s so rewarding in the end. Especially when you go off and buy yourself some clothes that you never dreamed you’d fit in!

    2. Congrats on being honest about who you are. Like I said, we’ve never met. But I’m not at all surprised at your announcement…for some reason I just got that feeling from you. That said, there is nothing better you can ever do for yourself than to live an authentic life. It takes a lot of courage, but It’s the only way to really, truly being happy. Major kudos to you for taking such great control of your life, and it sounds like you really found a job that you can feel good about. All fantastic steps indeed.

    I wish you nothing but tons and tons of happiness. You deserve it!
    Marilyn

  19. Very Proud of you Nick.

    After the rocky road you have been experiencing i’m so glad to hear everything is going right πŸ˜€

    Be who you are and nothing else. We are all your family no matter who or where we are and we are all here to support you.

    Look after yourself

    NZ Nick πŸ™‚

  20. Nick,
    I’ve always been proud of you no matter WHAT. Never be ashamed of who you are. Know that I love you, and will always be here if you need me.

    Your Aunt Cindy

  21. nick i read your webposts believe me when i tell you the heterosexual scene isnt much bettter but extinuating circumstances prevail and girls dont want me either my answer is try dating girls u list as bisexual on my space

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