2008…The Year of Transformations

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Christmas party with EllenTwo thousand eight…2008….wow what a year. I don’t even know where to begin. I started the year off…well I don’t even remember what I did for New Year’s Eve last year. The year started off though for me when I joined a gym and actually started going for real. I set a goal in February to change my life and body and come down from my all time high weight of 220-230 down to 160 within 120 days. This was surprisingly not as difficult as I would of thought, and while I still hate doing the weights at the gym, cardio is something I am less scared of now. I met my goal ahead of schedule, in time for the 2008 San Francisco Pride fest

Speaking of which, I also finally came out this year. It was one of the scariest few weeks of my life as I drafted my email/post which I would send to my family and friends, and post on the site here. I got a reply from my mom a few hours before I had planned on posting it on the site and to my shock they took it a lot better then I would of thought. 

Pink Saturday

It was one of the biggest reliefs after I hit submit ever. It was like a weight lifted, and I finally feel free to be myself without trying to hide who I am. 

 

I got to travel quite a bit this year as well. I went to Toronto, Chicago, Milwaukee, Las Vegas, Seattle, Los Angeles, and back to where I grew up in Tampa Bay, Florida to see my family for the first time since I moved out to San Francisco nearly a year and half ago.

Nick Starr's New HaircutHA! I also finally cut my hair, after years of growing it out and thinking that it looked good…wow was I blind or who knows what. It really was a transformational year for me. Quite a lot of changes, and hopefully 2009 will lead to more changes. 

I am really proud of myself and accomplishing nearly everything I set out to do in 2008. In 2009 I want to set some tougher goals and hope that I can be as successful. I want to not just lose weight, but tone up and get over my dread of working weights at the gym. I want to more then double what I can bench press, which isn’t much at all, and have a body I am proud to show off when I head to Gay Days Disneyworld in June. I also REALLY need to get my finances in line. I am looking to getting a second job part time in order to help jump start this process, but I would really like to set aside 25% of my paycheck into a savings account, and build up a few month buffer as a ‘rainy day fund.’ Right now I am literally living payday advance to payday advance and often have little to no money by the time it is time to pay bills. 

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Also a sort of major thing for me is to get out more (I know I go out to bars all the time, but I mean in other venues), and go out on dates which hopefully will lead to a relationship. I have been single since 2002, when I was living with a girlfriend in Portland, Oregon. A lot in my life has changed since then, and I would like to share my life with someone else. I’ve signed up for 6 months on Chemistry.com (for $159) and hope this jump starts the process. I might sign up for Match.com as I sort of have become not a fan of the way Chemistry.com works by sending you only a select few matches. 

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I also want to develop friendships in 2009. I have a TON of “friends” as I see it. Plenty of people I see at various parties, clubs, bars, etc who know me and vice versa

 and the conversation is always small talk yet nothing of substance. Sometimes it is nothing more then a, “Hey…” I really feel as if I don’t have any REAL friends here though. I want to develop friendships hopefully with some of the people already in my life, but also others who I might not know yet. I really feel alone here in San Francisco at times, like there is no one who KNOWS me. I know that a lot people who read my stuff online know more then anything my “friends” here know about me. I don’t even think a single one of my gay “friends” know that I lived in my car for over a year, or any of the other major events which have shaped my life. It really is depressing at times feeling so alone in a city where I know so many people. 

Well that was my 2008, and hopes and dreams for 2009. I hope that I can be as successful this upcoming year as I was last. Regardless I’m sure that there will be no shortage of stories and exciting adventures which I will be sure to write about here as well as on Twitter (my microblog). I look forward to seeing what the future has in store.

Heading out on Friday night...

Money, Money, Money

moneyIt is what half of this election was all about…it’s the economy stupid. While I am happy with my job and make enough money to get by, it seems that if I am always behind on bills and that I run out of money before I get my next paycheck. I have been doing payday loans of $500, and paying back at $555 nearly every 2 weeks now, and am still paying off a payday loan of $1,500 which I got so that I could move into my apartment back in May. On top of all that, I am now paying back student loans every month now as well. It seems to leave me with almost nothing…

I’m behind on my cell phone bill 2 months, and have had my cable internet turned off

Now I am not saying I am responsible with my money. I go out all the time and spend money on doing so. While I don’t go out to eat41ggz9kwil_sl160_aa115_ virtually ever, going out at night can cost a lot over the long haul. Quite honestly I haven’t really purchased any new technology in a long time. Right now I am REALLY wanting an Eee PC 1000HA, as I travel some for work and want something small to take with me, but I can’t afford it right now…and it is only around $400.

I think it is about time to start to get things in line financially. Now I know the best way is to just stop going out and spending money…now if I were to go home every night I would be bored out of my mind and never see my friends. Personally, I know that I couldn’t just sit at home on my ass on a Friday or Saturday night…or any other for that matter…and be happy.

jobwantedSo…what do I do? I think that getting a 2nd job might solve a bunch of problems. It will provide a 2nd source of income, and since I have a M-F 9-5 right now, it will keep me busy at night when I tend to be out spending money. The problem is finding one that I won’t totally hate. Any suggestions are appreciated. One of my favorite ones so far is a barback at a bar that I frequent…which sort of is an interesting idea and sort of not. I don’t want to burn any bridges at a place where I like to spend large amounts of time, so I try to shy away from a 2nd job where if I quit or am fired that I won’t be allowed back…or it would be awkward. I’m looking online, but I think the best way would be to just go out applying. Retail is always easy to get, and with not being able to work during the daytime hours, sometimes that is all that is readily available.

As of today, I am going to go out and start applying a few places and see what if anything pans out…wish me luck.